Grocery Shopping + Kids =

Better half is gone tonight. It seems that’s when the oddities occur and I’m still struggling to figure out why that is. Is he the calm in the storm? The missing link?

We’re on our way to the grocery store. Mommy has to make one stop at Big Box Retailer for one item. After we’re safely in the doorway, Daughter zeros in on the overloaded bin of PillowPets. It’s game over, Folks. We are not advancing into the store. We have decided to inform the entire front half of Big Box Retailer that it’s our duty and obligation to purchase that cuddly and soft and overpriced stuffed animal with random patches of Velcro.

And then I say no.

Oops.

I’ve now somehow managed to get to the checkout with my one item and attempt to leave the store. Daughter has now run back to the bin and latched on to the purple one.

What was to be a quick stop for one $5.00 item ended up with a deal made with the Daughter: Get stickers on your entire job chart and I’ll get a Pillow Pet.

“The purple unicorn?”

Yes. Can we go now?

Ten minutes later we’re loading our cart of consumables at the grocery store and Daughter is singing the Pillow Pet theme song at the top of her lungs. She discussing how she can get more stickers on her chart to get the purple one sooner. She’s telling the checkout cashier she’s getting a purple one.

I just wanna get home. Is that so much to ask?