Mother-Daughter Dance, Year Three, Day Three

Everyone who has survived two seasons of mother-daughter dance raise your hand if you’re able.

I’ll wait.

That’s right. Me. I did. My daughter did.

We started Season Three with a bang and by bang I mean she’s already rolling her eyes at me, I’ve already bounced her entire body to the floor off my boobs and I’ve got a new crowd of moms wondering what. the. hell. is wrong with me. I seriously look like the dancing overbite in Harry & Sally.

Image result for white man's overbite

We’ve already blown through one coach…so far. I mean, it’s the fourth night tonight, why not? The room is 87 degrees, we have daughters ranging in age from 4 to I think 20. A couple moms are seasoned dancers which is bad news for the rest of us since doing the splits is still something I will never strive to accomplish.

The assistant coach has figured out my theme song to life is “Shake it Off” and thus plays it on repeat. Unable to help myself, I break into a geeky attempt at shaking mine off while a couple moms whoop at my fist pumps and darling daughter averts her eyes. She has a friend who has since joined her in misery and is also truly embarrassed by my lacking sense of rhythm. But I don’t care. I’m like Harry above. Just keep dancing overbite.

Last week we had to jump with the end goal being threefold: 1) kick your heel into your butt, 2) stay in beat (5-6-7-8!) and 3) for heavens sake don’t fall down. When I fall down I lose track of where I am which then puts daughter in a tizzy which causes us to giggle which ends with me crossing my legs so I don’t leave a puddle.

Coach has also tasked us with practicing our sassy walk. I, of course, have not. Tonight’s practice will include more “MOTHER” screams from my partner. It’s a good thing “Shake it Off” is played so loudly so no one can hear my expletives.