Chronicles of the Bench, Part 4

I know me. I don’t trust me. You wouldn’t either if this was your blog.

Yesterday I added all the decorative boards. It went as expected.

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Most of them were primed prior to air nailing them in, some were added after my patience ran out running up and down the stairs (remember the measure three, cut four issue?). Tonight all I had to do was add the final coat of paint and the white part of the bench is done.

Side note: You don’t follow this blog for tips and tricks and how-tos of DIY, do you? Geez, sorry about that. This isn’t that kind of blog. This is a ‘shit is real and honest and spit your drink’ mistakes blog.

But I digress. You should see my accomplishments tonight. No eye rolls because Hubster is gone for the evening.

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Tonight I painted that final coat. Knowing me, and you shouldn’t trust me any more than I do, I taped, plastic wrapped, taped some more, then proceeded to make a mess. All I can say is buy stock in 99¢ plastic tarps. And also buy 99¢ plastic tarps.

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I actually allowed my tape to go a minuscule amount up the board on the bottom to make sure I didn’t paint my floor. There are two people in this world who may notice this slight change at the very bottom of the boards…I’m one of them and the other knows who she is and won’t say anything because she knows I’ll take her vodka away if she pokes fun.

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While painting the bench I failed to notice the drip of paint off the side of my paint tray. You can see the dribble in the photo above…which is why I don’t trust myself and you shouldn’t either! This is also why you should buy stock in 99¢ plastic tarps.

While this all dries I thought I’d make a treat for myself since I didn’t drag my butt through the drips of paint. As my gin and juice posed I realized there in the background is another telltale sign you should never ever paint your kitchen counters.

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What? You expected measurements? Paint tips? A recipe? My kids ate freezer-burned peas tonight. Lemme know if you’re looking for that recipe. It’s fairly easy.